An unexpected delight about writing this wee book blog is the people I ‘meet’ through it. Perhaps this seems less strange to a girl who was in a three year letter-writing relationship with her future significantly significant other but some of my favourite people are the ones I occasionally chat with online.
I’m especially fond of the smart and sassy Book Lush (yes, I say sassy since I moved to Muhrica, leamme alone). Nicole is also the founding editor of The Literary Dilettantes, another weekly pit stop of mine and I like her for lots of reasons that don’t have anything to do with her being the first person to comment on my blog. I don’t really know her but I once dared her to grab Siri Hustvedt’s boob at a book reading and she was scandalized but in a good way… I think. Strange things happen when you can’t see who you’re double daring.
Anyway, this is a rather roundabout way of saying that she introduced me today to The Broke and the Bookish who hosts a weekly book meme: Top Ten Tuesday. This weeks is Ten Authors You’d Die to Meet. I read the Book Lush’s answers moments before I was about to write a post in which I planned to freak out about how my trip to India is mere weeks away and I should be preparing and writing lots of lists, lots of long and detailed preparatory lists, but instead I’m procrastinating and I always do this and I hate myself. And such and such.
I got completely distracted and started daydreaming about which authors I’d die to meet or die if I met. So I got around to writing a list but not the lists I really truly should be making. I’m such a procrastinator. I always do this. I hate myself. And such and such.
Top Ten Authors I Would Die to Meet (or Die if I Met).
1. Katherine Dunn: I suppose I could meet the author of Geek Love if I really put my mind to it. Portland’s a small city, I could feasibly knock on every door in town screaming “Katherine! Katheriiiiine” á la Stanley Kowalski until she answered her door and sucker punched me with her boxing skills. Or her words, her wonderful, world-altering words.
2. Carlos María Domínguez: For putting into words everything I feel in my heart about books and a life devoted to them in his beautiful novel The House of Paper (La Casa de Papel).
3. Ursula K. Le Guin: I sat near her once. Seven rows away from her near her. She bewitched me and I like being bewitched so I would like to meet her again and be bewitched another time.
4. Dorothy Wordsworth: I became obsessed with William Wordsworth’s sister when I happened across her Diaries during my English undergrad. Turns out old Willy was somewhat the poetry rustler and whole lines, experiences and images in his poems originated in Dorothy’s journals. Those daffodils fluttering and dancing in the breeze? All her. I’d like to meet her and say that I’m sorry that because she was a women she wasn’t afforded the same opportunities as male writers but history would realise her words’ worth some day and that I got an A- for an angry, feministy essay I wrote about her.
5. JD Salinger: This pick works both ways. When old Sonny was alive, I likely would die if I met him because he’d be pointing a shotgun at my head for trespassing his mysterious old cabin in the woods. And if I met him today then I would already be dead because sadly the grumpy grandfather I never had left us last year.
6. Shel Silverstein: Because after years of dating and assholes and dating assholes and a few therapy sessions and a Masters in Women and Gender Studies, I read The Missing Piece and The Missing Piece Meets the Big O and I learned more about myself and being content with being myself in that cartoon than I did… well, anytime and anything prior to it.
7. Amy Hempel: Actually, if I met Amy Hempel then she might be the one to die because I would have to saw open her skull and scoop her brain out with a soup spoon. It’s the only way I could ever write those sentences she writes. Have you read her sentences? I would ask her if it’s necessary to love dogs as much as she loves dogs in order to write like her, or if cats would be okay. I’m afraid of what her answer would be.
8. Mark Z. Danielewski: I would just stare at him and say “Thanks man. Thanks for fucking with my mind and basically giving me insomnia for six months while I read your freakin amazing but very long and very wrong novel. Thanks. I mean, thanks a lot.” And I wouldn’t even shake his hand, I’d just walk away trembling.
9. Dervla Murphy: I would ask her how to be brave and how to have children and still be yourself and do the things you want to do and see the places you want to see.
10. Walt Whitman: I would die. I think I would truly die. Happy.